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“I don’t know”…

“The Sun will rise and set regardless.
What we choose to do with the light while it’s here is up to us.
Journey wisely.”

-Alexandra Elle

“I don’t know?”
This is our families theme this Fall.
Today was the first day of the big kids heading back to co-op…I can’t get over how old they are now.
When does this happen?  How?  Why?  Must it?


So why the “I don’t know?”
There are just so many unknown’s for us right now.  You guys may remember that almost two years ago now Daryl was laid off.  It was fun and absolutely that point in life where you are just saying “Why us?
The answer of course was two things…
1) Unknown
2) Why not us? What makes us so special that bad things can’t happen…nothing.  Bad things happen to everyone.  It’s called “life”.
But something fantastic came out of all of that mess.
Daryl switched up careers from “being the creative” to managing the creatives.  The end result?
His career has exploded and turns out…he is extremely good at this new path.
He was hired on with Capitol One and hasn’t complained, not one single day, once.  Ever.
He LOVES it there!  We all couldn’t be happier for him and proud of all he has accomplished these last few years.
On the other side of that coin?
He is based out of Washington D.C. , a good distance from Richmond.  Let’s just say in the last 14 days he was out of town for 6 of them.
We miss him.  The “I don’t know…”  on this one is…should we make the move up there so he gets to sleep in his own bed at night?  Or stay here and keep this crazy commute up?  Would we sell our house or rent it out?  What would a move up there look like?
Hmmm….I have no immediate answers.  Just an “I don’t know?”
And a “I miss my best friend at home every night.”

Then there is of course the school end of the “I don’t know?”
The kids have officially gotten to the high school subjects and grades.  Haley is a social butterfly and Adam is a lover of all things learning.
I simply can not teach subjects like Physics, Chemistry etc…  If nothing else I know that this year is probably the last year of full time homeschooling.
Whether they start going to regular school as part time or full time next year is the question currently in the house.
Public or private?  What grade levels?  Heck they are all over the place on that one.
Haley has subjects in 7th, 8th AND 9th this year…Adam has mostly 9th but Spanish and writing are in the 7th-8th grade co-op class (the ages are merged).
Homeschooling is like that.  You simply “are where you are”.
Need longer on a subject?  Take longer.
Get the concept on the first try and become bored?  Jump onto the next thing.
That has been the reason why we have loved it so much all these years!
If they had stayed in regular school Haley would be going into the 6th and Adam into the 8th.  They are clearly going to have to be tested at the end of this year by the school system before they head back because when asked “what grade are they?” my answer will be…
“I don’t know.” 
The good news is that they are in no way “behind” at this point.

Socially, I am not going to lie about it though or leave out this part….half the reason they are now both thinking they may want to go back is the social part.
Let’s face it…homeschooling is much easier for elementary years.  Finding support groups, field trips and things geared towards homeschooled elementary kiddos is pretty easy around here.  Late middle and high school years so many of their friends are going back that there just aren’t the social outings and opportunities for teens.
In all honesty I am burnt out.
Not on teaching them, or being with them most of the time.  That part I don’t mind at all…I truly enjoy my kids.  They are amazing young people.
I am burnt out on the “hunting” for social opportunities for teens.
Jill and I were talking about it the other day.  Did our mothers ever even have a conversation when we were in high school?  Did they have to talk to each other and be bff’s in order for us to have sleep overs?  (we met our freshman year) We are pretty sure the answer is a “no”.   I think they probably gabbed at some point over the many years but Jill and I were the coordinators.
As teenagers we were in charge of our social scene for the most part.  Our friends, while parents may have guided us, were chosen by us. We planned our sleepovers and mall dates not our mothers (because Jill and I would spend HOURS at the mall…doing nothing.)  We had tons of opportunities to meet other teens and make new friends.  Strangely enough I am still close to several of my girlfriends from high school.  Rare I know…but they were gold.  I got lucky.
The long and the short of it has to be that the point is coming that we probably fit better in regular school system.
We have never homeschooled for any reason other than it simply fit our needs as a family and we fell into it and had a blast!
We have never “sheltered” them from the world and have gone out of our way to make homeschooling less about home and more about seeing the world around them…outside of a classroom.  It has been great.
So the question we ask ourselves alot these days?
Is this our last year of homeschooling?????  If I could find those teen outings and resources for the social end would we stick with it?  Is regular school the answer?  Would part time (in Va public schools they can take 2-3 subjects and be a part time student in the upper grades) or full time?  Will there be co-op’s in northern Va that could fill the needs like we have down here?  What do we need to be working on to prep them in case they head back?
Will Lucas go to regular school or homeschool?  Probably at least regular Kindergarten…private or public?
You guessed it… a whole lot of “I don’t know?”… like mind spinning amounts of “no clue”.
I can say for sure that I am thankful that we have the options.  Options are lovely and many have none.  We are blessed.

Little Lucas…big man turns three next week.  How did this happen?
Preschool?  Well we were going to send him this year BUT ended up with the older two BOTH in braces.  Sorry Lucas…braces first…preschool after.
Until then we have “mommy school” and he loves it.

If I had all the money in the world he would be in a Montessori school somewhere…because I love Montessori.
But until that moment arrives we will have a ball and enjoy his “mommy school”.
Will he go to preschool next year?
“I don’t know.”

So in summary….
God gifted me with something.
A propensity to “roll with it”...I am NOT a high anxiety type of gal.  If I were I would be a mess.  ”Laid back” is my middle name…for realz.
All this is really no big deal.
The unknown simply isn’t something I fear right now.  I know that most of what happens in life is really out of my control…how I handle it all is in my control.
I shall smile….enjoy my time in Richmond and with my kiddos this year.  When and if the time comes for all this impending change we will handle it.  It will happen the way it is supposed to and however it plays out will not be the end of the world.
I know we will all be just fine with our changes as long as we are together.
I once asked a friend why they were moving to a “bad part of town”…I fell in love with her answer.
“A ‘home’ is exactly where you make it.  Where you are loved and where you can be together.  It’s really not a place.”
Attitude is always 90% of any inner voice battles…or maybe I am the only one with a crazy babbling  inner voice?
I don’t know….BAHAHAHAHA…get it?
Ok…time to take Haley to Volleyball and stop babbling and making stupid jokes.
Hope everyone has had a great start to their school year!  Whatever “school” looks like for your family:-)
The time goes by far too fast!



The Price of Inheritance { The Reading Corner

Have to say…
I spend so much time buried in books these days that I am in need of adding some new great reads that I have loved this Summer!


The Price of Inheritance was such a fun read!
You guys know I love kids love history as well (probably because I have crammed it down there throats for years now and  so many of our field trips are historical.)
I picked this book up thinking it was going to be a romance.  It was and it wasn’t.  What I like most about this book was exactly that.  A love affair BUT more about a gal just finding herself and along the way getting a glimpse into the world of big ticket auction houses and how the “other half” collect their lovelies.
You know I hate retelling a story because I feel like that ruins the book for others but I will say this much…
I normally like “happily ever after” type of romance novels.  The kind where they ride off happily into the sunset.
I was surprised when this book half way ended that way and halfway didn’t and I STILL loved it.
Says alot…if you know me;-)





Next up…  The Selection Series

  If you read this blog then you know…I love me a good Young Adults series.  I tend to read all book with or before my teens.  Thank God I read Divergent first…ugh!  Don’t get me started on that series (I can grumble alot about that last book.)
When I picked up the Selection I thought “Pretty cover I bet Haley would like this series perhaps?!”  Of course I read it first.  I loved it!  So refreshing to read a series that was truly PG enough for my 12 year old to read.  One that isn’t about Vampires, wolves or some other sort of freak show.
Granted it is a dystopian fiction but still a great series!








That sums up the last few weeks….or at least the books I liked:-)
Now back to reading.

Karin TanabeNovember 20, 2014 - 9:47 am

Thrilled that you enjoyed The Price of Inheritance. Here’s to history buffs!

Every year like clockwork…


I just tend to hit this blah moment in life every year at this time.
Summer is slipping away…buried under organizing the kids upcoming school year…my garden is soon to disappear…the leaves are about to change…
and the darn oak tree is about to drop her gazillion acorns that I simply despise because they put a fast end to playing barefoot in the backyard.
It all just puts me in a blah mood…
I end up feeling like I have so much to post about and nothing to post about all at the same time.
Things I want to say…but don’t want to.
I teeter between sharing and not sharing…does anyone really want to read about endless planning,  juggling kids and life in general?
Not really would be my guess.  Maybe?
I keep this blog going so my kids can have a little diary of our life…in my own voice.
Share to much and you just open yourself up to judgement and criticism from strangers…not really feeling up to that right about now.
Lots of posts for my kids just sit in the “draft” or “private” sections of this blog.  Secret corners for them to find mom’s thoughts well after I am gone and diary pages just for them and them alone.
Blogging is just the easiest family diary I can manage.  Most things we do are pretty generic but I love writing, even though I am not so great at it.
Gathering thoughts here is a very old habit.

I am not ready for Fall to happen.
And I am.
All at the same time.

Ready for the kids to be back on schedule.  Not ready to spend everyday as the “mom taxi cab driver”.
Ready to see all my mom friends again on a regular basis.  Not ready to juggle seeing everyone and a little fell missing his naptime.
Ready to learn with the kids…homeschooling them always refreshes my knowledge on things like History and Literature…I do love this part.  I love the closeness it brings us.
Ready for field trips…nothing bad about field trips.  Nothing.  LOVE THEM.
Ready for lettuce out of the garden.  Not ready for the tomatoes to go.
Ready for new challenges and adventures.  Not ready for the changes…I have a hard time with it sometimes.  I like to think all moms do from time to time.
Ready to watch Adam merge into High School. Not ready…no terrified…that he is so close to being grown.  Did I mention the part where I brought him home from the hospital as a baby and cried for at least a solid day at the knowledge that one day he would grow up and leave us?  Yep…I did.
Ready to start homeschool preschool with Lucas…seriously love this age.  So thankful to get to do it all over again from the beginning.

At the end of the day the Fall begins, whether I like it or not.
The time of the year to be “thankful” and at the end of the day that word sums it all up for me.
I am quite thankful for this wonderful little family we have here.
We have made a lovely little life for ourselves.
Thankful indeed.

On a last note of this rambling post…
I am ready for the month or two break I take from the Facebook  fan page each year in September/October.  I simply turn it off for a few months while we merge into our new schedule.  The family needs my full attention (especially with all the traveling Daryl does these days for work) and this year I am even debating the brave step of deactivating my entire Facebook account for a few weeks.
I just need a social media break.  Do you ever feel that way?
Like life was just way better BEFORE Facebook?
Before, when people would actually stop by and see each other for real…not just tag the “praying for you” on a FB wall and running away.
I have been truly trying to not be that person.  To physically get off my duff and go and help my friends, in person, when things go wrong in their life.
Rather that the “praying for you…best of luck with that…” sort of lives we seem to lead these days.
Sometimes friends need more than an impersonal response to a bad day.
I would like to spend my Fall drinking coffee with friends and being more “present” in my own life…in their lives.
Sometimes to do so you just have to unplug.
Step away from the key board…and go days without checking e-mail (which by the way I currently haven’t checked mine in several days.  Shame on me.)
At the end of this post I shall find my peace with Fall…
Ready or not, here it comes.

The art of food hoarding…

Deep deep into canning and preserving season over here…
My kitchen is a hot mess…
But my pantry sure looks pretty.

Today’s tally…

11 jars of blueberry (local organic source) jam (Lucas favorite)
8 jars of salsa from our garden tomatoes, peppers and cilantro
6 quarts of dill pickles from our cucumbers
3 bags of cut corn for the freezer from local farm

Onto at least 8 quarts of stewed tomatoes
The “goal” on tomatoes is at least 80-100 quarts a Summer.  August is always quite the challenge.  Lucky for me I have a great local farmers market to supply those tomatoes.  When asked how long that last us each year the answer is…until January.  We love some tomatoes over here!
We will be heading to the mountains for some hiking and family peach picking this weekend too!  There will be frozen, canned and jams with those.

Yes, I feel like a hoarder…or a very industrious squirrel;-)

To every season…. {Gardening Chronicles

To say it’s “been a week” would be such an understatement.
We have had a sprained/torn ligament shoulders (poor Adam)…
Hornet stings that have left me looking like Sloth from the Goonies….10534575_10152275727150878_7544497445439797806_n
and finally, saying goodbye to the big garden…aka “my heart”.
Alas, the time and location proved to be too much.

Can I please just go to a bedroom and sleep for weeks?
I hear rumor I can’t do that so along I will go.


I suppose I will take one last walk around my big lovely garden and say farewell and share the last pictures of it with you guys…and ponder life.
Shall we?

Lots to learn in the garden about life.
You have the life cycle of course…you toil and plant…pray for things to grow.
They grow and they bloom.  They take your breath away…if you are smart enough to stop and enjoy.
There are those of us on earth willing to tend the good earth…to get dirty…to grow the food that feeds us all.  This is a necessary thing and isn’t it fantastic that there are those of us who love it?  Relish in the sunshine and enjoyment we garner from the harvest.  Who cherish the land we grow on.


Some plants are tougher than others.  Stubborn, prickly and mean but when they finally get around to living they bear some amazing and beautiful fruits.



Some plants just know what to do.  They plant their roots and give, give, give seldom asking for much…

Then there are the flowers…always the flowers.
Beautiful…just lovely little gifts of beauty for us to simply enjoy and the bees.  They really don’t ask for much from us.
They seem so delicate yet they are tougher than we give them credit for most of the time.  They grow they bloom, reseed/multiply if you are lucky…if they decide you are just not kind enough or the ground friendly enough they just move on.
I totally get that.

Some plants you just have to give up on and say “there is just no hope”…and plant new seeds somewhere else in hopes that a new plant that really wants to thrive will join the garden party.
That is just the way it goes…the garden party just keeps moving.  The joy of gardening and plants is that they grow anywhere that there is a little chunk of land and someone to love them.
Isn’t that true for humans as well?  We always thrive the most where we are nurtured, loved and protected.  If we can’t find those things we get to stepping….at least if we are smart.  We all deserve those things in live.  I for one made the decision years ago that I would never “settle” for being around anything less than  those attributes again.  I want to surround myself with beautifully kind people everyday of my life.
The ultimate goal…not always the way it lands though.
Plants aren’t that different.
The garden of life.  You get to chose where you put your roots.  You really do.
Chose wisely.

Fairwell big garden, you were wonderful to us this Summer.  Onto another season of change and chapters.  Thanks for the yummy food you provided our family…it really was appreciated.

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