On Bramble Hill » Thoughts and Experiments from a Suburban Homestead

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Finding Happy { Even in a Laundromat

Sigh…
Life…Life…Life…
Why must you decide to teach me lessons that involve the lose of a very needed washing machine?

Dear Universe,
Are you aware Lucas is a clothe diapered babe while at home?
That we have 6 people that use that machine every. single. day?
I suppose you know this…
I suppose you sent me this saga to teach me something…
Besides the whole “You know you can wear jeans at least twice before they are considered “dirty” technically?”…

Lessons in the little dramas of life…
Lesssons like a washing machine being broken may seem like a “big thing” but really it is truly “a little thing”.
After all I am still kicking and breathing.

So today after a very long week with no washing machine my Sears man finally shows up…
And promptly tells me “Sorry nothing I can do for you until February 6th when your $1000+ in parts comes in.”
Ok so this is the part where I mention we have a home warranty with American Home Shield.
Have for a few years.
So far we have had good experiences but then again I have never had to go 2.5 weeks in a house with no washing machine and 6 people before…so my opinion my fast be changing.
I’ll let you know this time next week;-)

I promptly call AHS and say “Hey why are  you going to pay $1000+ to fix a machine that at most is worth $400?”
AHS girl: “Well Sears will cut us a deal.”
Me: “So even if they give you half off…which we know they aren’t going to give you half off…you are still paying more than the value of the machine.  A machine the tech said may still have problems.”
AHS Girl: “Well maybe we can reimburse but there is a chain of things we will have to go through first.”
I give her the repair man’s cell number…she says she will call him herself and get it straight.
I receive a call from Justin the Sears repairman…who was soooo nice and was like “She didn’t call me but some third party service did.”
Neither of us really understood what they were wanting from the poor guy and I am left with yet another day tomorrow of fighting red tape…
I will indeed be earning every penney of either them fixing the money pit washing machine or doing the smart thing and just cutting a check….but hey I guess if they want to keep throwing money out the window guess I will just let them.
Oh and I am sure that when I ask them to reimburse the money I am spending each week now at a laundromat the additional $100 will be on top of that.

Not the “Finding Happy” part though…
Well maybe…I did find some happy in listening to Justin and how happy that new baby on the way is going to make him and his story.
Seldom do I cross paths with folks and not get such stories.
I love it.
Happy people rub off you know.
You maybe in a grumpy mood but it is so hard to stay grumpy when you are in a room with someone who no matter how much you frown and scowl at them they refuse to let you bring them down.

There is a nurse in the lab at the kids pediatric office.  She is always in a bad mood…
Almost never smiles.  Even at the kids.
Since we break Lucas’s shots up into separate days I see her alot…lol.
Pretty sure I drive her nuts because she is a “permanent scowl” on her face kindof gal.
At first it would bug me because…hello you are working with CHILDREN…
But then it became a game…
“Make the unhappy girl crack a smile.”
Every time we go in I find this as a personal mission to make this gal crack a smile.
Even if it is the “This girl is so darn goofy!” Type of smile…
It counts;-)

So tonight’s question was “How do I “find happy” in a absolutely craptacular day?

I finally find a self service laundromat (who knew they are that hard to find in the burbs?)…
I call and find out that I have to have all laundry in machines no later than 7:30pm…
at that point it was like 6pm and I live 30/40 minutes from them.
Jill and I run all over the place throwing laundry in trash bags and grabbing laundry baskets.
I am NOT “happy”.
I am pretty sure that if I told you I was “happy” at this point you guys would know I was bold face lying….
who could be happy with dragging every morsel of your families dirty, stinking clothes all over town at night.
Dinner for the family was ready but no time for me to eat it.  Daryl still at work.
Nope no “happy” in that.

I had just about had enough on that long drive…
Heck I even had to stop at Wawa and pick up cash and decided I should grab a sandwich so I wouldn’t starve to death.
So armed with cash, a gas station dinner and a mom van loaded with everyone’s dirty clothes onto the other side of town I went.
Nope still no “happy”.

 I started off by getting $20 in quarters…
First question is why in the world are these machines still taking quarters?
Doesn’t it seem like at this point and time if you are charging $6.50+ for a machine that putting in quarters is a bit….ummm…outdated?
But hey…for just a few seconds I found happy in the ching ching ching of $20 in quarters coming out of the machine…
Gotta chuckle thinking “It’s like I totally lost in Vegas and got stuck in some surreal “other vegas”…I lose my money in either place.”

I get all dirty clothes deposited and the nice gal gave me some lessons on how to use the darn things…
and finally sat down to eat my fancy gas station dinner (good thing I was on my feet all day and worked off all those calories no doubt) and read some of my Nookbook…
Girl With the Dragon Tatoo (which by the way I am having such a hard time getting into…but keep reading it anyway)

So where’s the happy?
the “happy” was in the fact that :
A) It was peaceful….no kids…no crazy dogs….just quiet.
B) I was sitting down.  First time the entire day. Awe…
C) Oddly the laundromat reminded me of the rollerskating rink….why?  I have no clue…old? yucky floors? Crappy tables?  Bathrooms you are afraid to use?  I don’t know but it made me laugh….I love surreal moments that leave me going “Is this for real? ”
D) I actually found “happy” in the NO Wifi!  I managed to get some editing accomplished without distractions…

 And because I know it is killing her and she deserves a sneak peak….the lovely Mrs. Megan and a few shots from our session for the “Filled With Love” image series I have been working on the last few weeks.
Aren’t they sweet?!
These totally helped me “find my happy”….

By the end of the late night I closed the mat down and ended up standing outside gabbing with the clerk for a good while as she smoked her last cigarette.
That gal has stories…oh does she have stories…
So many stories that just maybe after I finish my current Filled with Love project I may just have to start documenting a laundromat…
Cause clearly there are stories there;-)

What did the universe try to teach me today?
How to make the best out of a big craptacular day ….
Find some nice people and find little bright and shiny lights and appreciate every chance given to smile.

Oh and yes, I am so not looking forward to the hours on the phone tomorrow trying to get my washing machine figured out….
Cause I can’t live without one.
BUT I get to have a newborn session with little baby Meredith and that will totally make my day perfect and happy!
Hope everyone can find some happy today…even if your day is craptacular;-)

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Some battles you just have to fight…

Oh homeschooling…
Why must folks make it more difficult than it should be?
I am not a big debater.  My fighting skills are at times sharp in person but often rusty online.
But today I came across a small little battle that just had to be fought.
Now before I go on you should know that most days when “invited to a fight… I normally chose not to attend”…
but today….
I attended.

Here in the lovely state of Va. there is a law going before our state General Assembly called The Tebow Law… here is an article that gives a bit of both sides of the debate.
This morning when I woke up to a friend sharing the link to a local news channels Facebook wall and a  thread all about the debate I realized that the stereotypes and disdain for homeschoolers seem to be running rampant these days.
I would post a link to the thread but I will say that a “coach” got onto the thread and really vented how angry she was and let all her feelings, preconceptions and anger towards home schooled CHILDREN really shine.
So why am I not posting the link?  Because personally I think as a “coach” and an educator of CHILDREN she should have stayed out of it since once this law passes one day (because I have no doubt one day it will pass) her bias and hatred of homeschoolers will all be there for the world to see.
Can you imagine the grief this would cause her one day when she has a homeschool child try out for her team and once again they don’t make her “team”?  No matter how good they are.
I find that people often say things online, letting all their true feelings show no matter how ugly, and never really think of the long term employment consequences.  I will not be the reason she gets outed with her school district for being…um…a teacher who dislikes homeschool kids.
I shudder to think what would happen if I ever had to put my kids in her classroom and she has these strong feelings against families who have chosen this route…for whatever reason.   She was very clear in her disdain for home schooled children.
The very sad fact was she was NOT alone in her sterotype and attitude.
Anyhow…I know the traffic I get here and I refuse to be the reason…
even if it is slight…
that one day this gal gets in trouble of some sort…
But hey….I am self employed and a homeschooling mom so I can say exactly what my thoughts are…
although I am far better explaining my thoughts in person than I am online.
So much is lost in interpretation.
I am taking it with a grain of salt that is exactly how it played out for her…
sounding so hate filled and angry…
I shall give the benefit of the doubt and that perhaps it was just the venue with which she chose to vent that made her sound so unhappy.
Onto my side…

We are on our fourth year of homeschooling…
We fell into this…want to read how?  Once upon a time I wrote this lovely article over at the Creative Mama called:
“Never Say Never and Are You Nuts?” 
Basically this article will get you up to speed on how we started four years ago.
What a journey this has been.

When we started I so feared that we wouldn’t “fit in”…see I too had heard all the stereotypes.
Thought for sure I would have to wear dresses everyday and never cut my hair again.
Thought for sure we would be shunned since…gasp…we don’t go to church every Sunday (I have to work…)
Thought for sure my kids may just miss out on everything from having “best friends” to “will they ever be invited to a birthday party?”
Thought for sure we would feel isolated and spend many a day lonely.

None of which happened. Luckily homeschooling mom’s seem to like having cute clothes, purses and getting their “hair did” just the same as traditional school mom’s.  Who knew?
I do wear dresses from time to time but that is because I like dresses…
I do have a cute little haircut I happen to like…(mainly because it looks like “I care”  enough to have done it but really…not so much)
I have never been shunned for our lack of belonging to a church.
The kids both have lots of “best friends”…go to parties often… we have playdates, field trips etc… every week…more often than not…several times a week.
Heck these kids have double the “social life” they had when they were in traditional school.
We never feel isolated because we are out in the community everyday.
Dance classes, art classes, co-ops, Boyscouts, football ….you name it we are probably doing it.
You would never know these kids are “homeschool kids” unless you asked them straight up “Where do you go to school.”
Turned out that the reasons parents choice to homeschool their child are as varied as the stars in the sky.

So where am I going with this?
While I was sure I knew I was in for it from the homeschool community when we first started because I thought we would stick out like a sore thumb…
I had no idea just how shunned we would be from many families who’s kids do go to traditional school:-(
For some reason our choice to homeschool our kids is somehow saying “Your school/education isn’t good enough for OUR kids.”
Somehow the notion that by homeschooling we think our kids are too good for public school or something.
So so so so so far from reality.
This attitude just always leaves me scratching my head.
At first it used to hurt my feelings.  I am the least judgemental person you will ever meet.
Just because we chose this for our family I would never say it is “the best way” to educate a child…
it is simply what fits….
MY child.
MY family.

How does our choice effect those families?
Why the anger towards homeschooling families?
Oh you should read some of these comments on any venue that The Tebow Law has been posted.
Many of the articles end up with heated debates and full on prejudice against homeschool kids.
KIDS.
Somehow I had missed many of these arguments till today simply because my children aren’t big athlete’s.

Heck, Adam is totally a computer guy and Haley is clearly an artist spirit.
How lucky are they that we homeschool and they can feed their love for what makes them happy in life.
How much we have given up to give them these opportunities.
I have never regretted it a minute.
I will continue to homeschool them for as long as they desire.

But by golly…if they want to play stinking soccer in high school they should be allowed to “try out” to play soccer in high school.
Will they “make the team”?
Honestly..I doubt it.
Why?  Because many of the public school parents have their panties in a bunch that somehow by a homeschool child trying out they could “take the spot of a real student”.
Really?
I loved this quote in the article above:
“They contend there is little or no periodic monitoring of academic progress for children taught by parents at kitchen tables, unlike in public classrooms.”

I admit it…this statement got a full on chuckle out of me.
The thought that somehow teaching a child at a kitchen table instead of a desk in a classroom is somehow…well bad..or “less” of a learning environment.
Oh and the “no monitoring”…right.
Two points here:

  1. Adam works on a computer at a desk…
    Haley does indeed use the kitchen table alot.  Somehow there is no less information in her Abeka Language Arts curriculum whether it sits on a kitchen table or a school desk…
    I would know…it is the same curriculum I grew up on years ago in a traditional school setting.
    Just saying.
  2. Yep… we are monitored and DO have to turn in test scores…and if that isn’t enough to be able to kick a ball on a field…why not just make up the rules that would indeed make coaches and public school parents happy to fill the requirements?  Like bringing in their work weekly to a school counselor to prove they did the work…or some other COMPROMISE (we are adults ya know).

Oh silly adults.
Can’t we all just get along?
Does everything have to end up in a “My parenting method is soooo much better than yours!  Your wrong!”
Can’t folks realize that homeschool families pay taxes and actually a public school benefits tremendously from homeschooling families.  Especially families like mine who have a child, who if in the system, would have special requirements.
We are saving them money and giving them our money all at the same time!
We have never complained a second since it has been our choice.
A choice I am soooooo thankful this state has allowed us to make.

I am positive that my children would be completely different people if we hadn’t gone this route.
It was the right choice for us.
Our choice is by no means some hidden attack on the establishment of public education.

Are there homeschooling families that stink at educating their children?
Yes.
Are there public school that stink at educating there children?
Yes.
The sooner everyone realizes there just isn’t a “One Size Fits All” tag on education the sooner this country can get back to the business of educating ALL children in the manner in which they need to be successful.
Every child deserves a chance.
A chance to learn.
A chance to grow.
A chance for an adult to cut them a break and let them kick a ball around a field.

To all the parents up in arms about the possibility that their child may have to compete against a homeschool child for a coveted spot on a sport team…take a deep breath and realize that the prejudice against a homeschool teen from ADULTS will always make any attempt at getting on the actual team close to impossible.  This country has dealt with prejudice over and over through out the years.  I admire any teen who tries out for a team sport after this law goes into effect one day.
They will be some of the bravest teens I will have ever met.  Can you imagine that pressure?
Teenagers are smart and totally know what they are up against…yet they STILL want the chance to try…
Just a chance…that is all they are asking for.

Last note…
After reading through pages of angry adult posts today it became clearer than ever just where bullying starts.  I have often said that if one wants to know where bullying starts and how to get it to stop one has to look no further than the parents/adults surrounding the bully.
Listening to the “coach” today I realized that if any teen made her team they would not only be given a hard time by the coach for being a homeschooler but the team would have free reign since surely the other cheek would be turned if any sort of hazing began.
Oh how times never seem to change.

Of course this is all just my opinion…my venting platform.
Every year we ask the kids “Do you want to go back to regular school?”
Every year we get a loud “NO!”
So I will continue each year until it is a “Yes”.
It just fits OUR family…but I wouldn’t think twice to let them try out regular school anytime they would like.
See it isn’t about thinking we are “better than”…just about thinking we are a family that sticks together and listens to each other.
That simple.
No big hidden agenda or conspiracy.

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It’s a rough life being this cute…

Haley grabbed the camera a month ago and took this picture of Aunt Jill and I taking cell phone pics of Lucas…
Just found it.
Because this is an everyday thing in our house…I am not surprised.
I have camera’s laying all over the place and not a day goes by that…
this…

isn’t part of our families life…

and oh yeah..
the mama in me loves that Haley will just grab any camera and knows how to frame a shot with zero direction from me…
She has been learning manual.
Best 9 year old photographer I have ever met:-)

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Baby for lunch…and Mahi Mahi

Today was one of those days…
Had to homeschool the kids..
House a mess…
Had a Lightroom mentoring session coming over…

And yet somehow I had to work around Mr. Sir…aka Lucas.
See Lucas is “busy”…
Not 4 month old busy…
No…he is more like 6 month old busy.
He simply wants to be a part of EVERYTHING…
Can’t miss a thing this one.
Nickname “Mr. Nosey” is already his at this point.

Fast forward to lunch time.
I am trying so hard to lose the baby weight but at my age it just ain’t so easy.
Add in a busy baby, kids, work schedule, on and on and on…
And eating a nice healthy lunch often gets forgotten or I end up with my fall too…
PB&J…fancy I tell ya.

Today was different…I was like “We are going to do better for lunch.”
Lucas said he had other plans…
But I won the battle and decided he could be the cafeteria ladies helper today…

Oh the things a mom will do to get something accomplished…
I would NEVER have allowed anything like this with the first baby…
but the third?
Yep he can sit on the kitchen counter while mommy gets lunch made;-)


Lemon Pepper Mahi Mahi and scallops…with some noodles.

Crazy easy and yummy..
The kids even loved it…
Recipe?

Ingredients:

Frozen Mahi Mahi fillets thawed…
4 tbl of stick butter (I prefer the salted version with this recipe)
Handful of baby scallops
1/3 cup of lemon juice
Handful of fresh cherry tomatoes cut up
Dash of salt

Bake at 350 degrees until the fish is nice and flaky.
Cooked a pot of egg noddles up…
Add them together and wala…
Lunch…

The kids actually like this recipe….
Which is saying alot around this joint.
Granted they still dip their fish in ketchup…eweeeeeeeeee!

 

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AlisonJanuary 22, 2012 - 1:26 am

Like you I would have never done lots of things with my first that I did with the second and third :) . It’s all about making thins work.

TishaJanuary 22, 2012 - 9:39 pm

Exactly :-)

How about some girl power?

Today I came across this Youtube clip on Facebook that several of my friends had posted…
As I watched it I found myself feeling validated in the fact that we have limited the kiddos viewing on several things that their friends are now starting to get into.

I don’t want to “shelter them” from the whole world or anything like that but there is something to be said about going in the extreme opposite direction that many parents do today of allowing free reign in the world of media.
I am such an uncool mama.
My kids will not have their own cell phone till they are 13 at least…I prefer 16 but think I will probably lose that battle.
Instead we have a “family phone” that goes to spend the night on sleepovers or to dance practice or whatever else they may need a phone for…
They aren’t allowed to watch MTV.
Simply put it is dangerous especially for young girls and anyone who tries to tell me otherwise will get a “lalalalalala I can’t hear you!”:-)
I have zero desire for my young lady to think that her worth and value are all about going around half naked and making boys drool.
Nope she will be someone who has brains first…the inside will always need to be far “prettier” than the outside.
My son will NOT be some fella who thinks he is a man and thereforesuperior and woman are good for only one thing…
Nope…I will not stop limiting what media they are allowed free access over.

A what point will I ease up?
Hmmm…not sure…probably will be a gradual thing and something we watch as a family and talk about.
Perhaps letting your teen girl watch Teen Moms wouldn’t be so bad if you sit beside them and point out all the downfalls…
like “See how the boyfriend NEVER stays? ”
Sometimes being the mom who monitors things isn’t fun and can seem lonely…
You can easily find yourself questioning “am I over protecting?  After all little Billy Bob’s mom is letting him watch it.”…
When I start to question myself I simply remind myself that this is untested waters.  We don’t really know what the long term effect of all of this media is really going to have on these kids.
Do I really want my kid to be the guinea pig?
Or do I stick with what I know…
What I grew up with…
And how I turned out as a strong minded, very independent…
Good person….
Or at least I think I turned out pretty decent;-)

Ya…I will keep monitoring and limiting.
No need for them to race through childhood.
There will be plenty of time for them to deal with adult issues later on…

I prewarn you before you watch this video….it is NOT for young eyes.
It is a documentary and I so wish that the first image YouTube has it stuck on wasn’t the one below…eeck…but to important not to share.
It is a valuable reminder of the need to help our children turn into smart, strong individuals.
Not what the media seems to want them to turn into…

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